Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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