I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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