Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
