I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize