Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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