what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
