I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
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I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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