How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
