Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You took a bar mat shot.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
