Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
