what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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