Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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