i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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