I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
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