i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
