it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
