Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
