Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
