I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i drank out of a bidet.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
