And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
