Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
