what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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