you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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