Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
