Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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