I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
