maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
