You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
