**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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