actually, I'm a sock model
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
