Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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