1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
