I hate all girls vehemently.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
