Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
