Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
