she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
