Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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