That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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