How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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