You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
