they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
