yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
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I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
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If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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