Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
