I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
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You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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