i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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