You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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