fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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