i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Be still, my beating vagina.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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