she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
