I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
