And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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