I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
