Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i've created a new STD.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
