how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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