We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize