Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
