The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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