dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
