You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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