i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
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I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
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He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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