I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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