she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
