he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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